Maybe Honesty Really IS the Best Policy

At the end of this post, you might be tempted to think, “Hmph – no wonder she’s still single.” Resist the temptation. This is small change.

I’ve grown rather weary of “The Game” – mostly due to the number of years I’ve been playing it, albeit rather poorly – so I am trying a new approach in my dating pursuits: blatant honesty.

The thing is, I actually believe in honesty and try to be a pretty honest, straight forward girl – what you see is what you get. Some might debate this due to things like my frequent use of the phrase, “It doesn’t matter.” It almost ALWAYS matters. Anyway - thinking back, I realized that I’ve pulled punches when, for the good of both players, maybe I shouldn’t have. So, I’m determined to mend my ways.

I give you Exhibit A:
I "met" a guy who was rather moody (yes, moody); he frequently gave me this crazy attitude about not being online enough, made snide remarks about me being busy when he thought I should be IM’ing him, and got annoyed with me not having a particular time open for a date (all this before ever meeting face to face). When he canceled the date because I wasn't online enough that week and then asked if he still had a chance, I’d had enough foolishness and said, “Hey! I’m looking for someone to actually be nice to me and treat me with respect. You aren’t doing that. And, while we’re on the subject, it bugs me that you are rude and get annoyed with me not being available enough for you . . . ” and some other stuff I can’t remember.

I was surprised at his reply (probably because I was expecting a female-like retort). He responded that he deserved every word and thanks for telling him. Wow. First sensible thing he said.

I’m tempted to try this forthright approach again. It’s so liberating (and effective).

One Size Fits All?

My mom and I went shopping again last night – I needed/wanted to find some dress pants for a business seminar. I thought I’d try Old Navy – decent prices and they have “Longs” for girls like me with freakishly long legs. Buying pants used to be a simple task. You know your size, you grab a pair of pants that you like in that size, you buy them.

It doesn’t seem to work like that anymore – especially not at Old Navy. Let’s enter Fantasy Land and pretend that I wear a Size 2. In theory, I could go into any store and grab a Size 2 pair and they would fit, right? Well, I happen to have a “Size 2” pair of jeans from Old Navy, so last night I figured I’d grab a pair of Size 2 slacks and I’d be set. Not remotely accurate. There are Low-Rise Skinny Fit, Low-Rise Wide Leg, Low-Rise Flare, Mid-Rise Skinny, Mid-Rise Wide Leg, etc., etc., and that’s just the pants – there are related titles if you branch into the jean section like “Sweetheart,” “Diva,” “The Flirt” . . . good grief.

Evidently, I am a different size in each of them. Size 2 in Mid-Rise Flare, Size 6 in Low-Rise Skinny, Size 0 in Mid-Rise Wide Leg (size zero – what a joke). I fail to see the logic in having multiple versions of Size 2. Am I missing something here?

HELP WANTED (or NEEDED)

Have you seen the movie Hitch? The main character, Alex Hitchins (Will Smith), is a private consultant who helps men to be charming when dating women. He gives them advice on everything from the clothes they wear & how they present themselves to the dating activity & how to treat the woman and show genuine interest in her as a person. It’s a brilliant concept.

A few men are really great and do just fine on their own – they are intelligent, respectful, interesting, kind, great conversationalists, decently dressed, fun . . . but I’ve been out with one or two (or 50) who might benefit from a Hitch-like dating consultant.

I believe experience (we’re talking PhD equivalency) has qualified me to be just such a consultant, so – men, today is your lucky day! I’ll waive the consulting fee – just this once – so, pay attention:

1. Even if you are very handsome, never wear a turtleneck – it suggests you might be “playing for the other team”


2. And, while we are talking about attire, do not wear moon boots and a parka on a date (especially not in April during a very light rain storm); actually, NEVER wear moon boots, even if you are attending an 80’s revival


3. It is somewhat less effective to take a girl dancing and get lost in the crowd and then resurface to ask the girl you came with for a pen so you can give the girl you got lost in the crowd with your phone number (either carry a pen with you or pay attention to the girl you brought)


4. Extreme fauxhawks on men over 30? . . . not super attractive


5. Try hard to refrain from talking about other women (do you really have to be told this?)


6. When a girl talks about how she likes the cheese fries, maybe let her get some


7. Do you actually think it’s a good idea to make plans with a girl and then show up and say you don’t have time for dinner because you have movie tickets (and she’s not invited)?? Not so much.


8. Be a clever lad and wait (at least) until the 2nd date to mention all the bad things you’ve done.


9. And, do not assume the 2nd date will include your date sharing the innermost thoughts of her heart just because you did.


10. Eating pizza on the Smith’s Pharmacy waiting bench isn’t a unique date, it’s lame.
    

That’s enough for now. Ten of you may want to practice these skills a bit before thinking about a 2nd or 3rd date with that great gal. And, as a good friend of mine has often said: you may not be interested in the girl you’re with, but remember how she has roommates and best friends, etc., etc.?

It is probably in your best interest to be a decent fellow no matter who you’re with. You never know . . .

Great Moment in History

A couple of days ago a meeting was canceled at the last minute, so I walked across the street with some work friends to grab an ice cream. We ran to make the light because it was cold. This reminded me of one of my finer moments . . . one day, I was delayed in a meeting and had to get to a building across the street for another meeting. I thought as I walked down the hill, "Hmm. If I make this light I might not be late for the next meeting." This was my third mistake. The second mistake was wearing these very cute, but rather difficult shoes - little Mary Janes with a low back (they slipped off my feet at random intervals when I walked).

As I picked up speed going down the hill, my feet started to slip out of the Mary Janes. I tried to correct this while still running and tripped on a crack in the sidewalk just as I reached the cross walk. Instead of walking gracefully across the street, I flew into the crosswalk and landed flat on my belly, shoulder and face. The books and pen I had in my hands were scattered at impact. As I quickly pried myself off the pavement and collected my things, I didn't have to look around wondering, "Did anyone see that?" because, it was a busy intersection and there were several cars stopped at the light and two people coming towards me from the other side of the street. Their expressions of confusion and shock told me that it hadn't been just an ordinary fall. They looked as if they were thinking, "What in the world did you do that for?"

When they caught my eye they changed their expressions to looks of concern - or maybe they were just biting their lips so they wouldn't laugh right in front of me - and rushed over to see if they could help. Valiant souls. I was anxious to get out of the crosswalk and into the building where there were people who hadn't seen my display, so I rushed on and called back over my bruised shoulder, "I'm okay, thanks." (I couldn't lift that arm above my shoulder for weeks.) I'm actually looking forward to viewing the replay of this great moment in Heaven - it had to be so funny to see. I would have laughed at me for sure.

For those wondering about the first mistake . . . it was purchasing, for the 300th time, a pair of "form before function" shoes. If you've started to notice a disturbing trend in my decision making abilities and shopping habits . . . well, we've only just scratched the surface.