Have you seen the movie Hitch? The main character, Alex Hitchins (Will Smith), is a private consultant who helps men to be charming when dating women. He gives them advice on everything from the clothes they wear & how they present themselves to the dating activity & how to treat the woman and show genuine interest in her as a person. It’s a brilliant concept.
A few men are really great and do just fine on their own – they are intelligent, respectful, interesting, kind, great conversationalists, decently dressed, fun . . . but I’ve been out with one or two (or 50) who might benefit from a Hitch-like dating consultant.
I believe experience (we’re talking PhD equivalency) has qualified me to be just such a consultant, so – men, today is your lucky day! I’ll waive the consulting fee – just this once – so, pay attention:
- Even if you are very handsome, never wear a turtleneck – it suggests you might be “playing for the other team”
- And, while we are talking about attire, do not wear moon boots and a parka on a date (especially not in April during a very light rain storm); actually, NEVER wear moon boots, even if you are attending an 80’s revival
- It is somewhat less effective to take a girl dancing and get lost in the crowd and then resurface to ask the girl you came with for a pen so you can give the girl you got lost in the crowd with your phone number (either carry a pen with you or pay attention to the girl you brought)
- Extreme fauxhawks on men over 30? . . . not super attractive
- Try hard to refrain from talking about other women (do you really have to be told this?)
- When a girl talks about how she likes the cheese fries, maybe let her get some
- Do you actually think it’s a good idea to make plans with a girl and then show up and say you don’t have time for dinner because you have movie tickets (and she’s not invited)?? Not so much.
- Be a clever lad and wait (at least) until the 2nd date to mention all the bad things you’ve done.
- And, do not assume the 2nd date will include your date sharing the innermost thoughts of her heart just because you did.
- Eating pizza on the Smith’s Pharmacy waiting bench isn’t a unique date, it’s lame.
That’s enough for now. Ten of you may want to practice these skills a bit before thinking about a 2nd or 3rd date with that great gal. And, as a good friend of mine has often said: you may not be interested in the girl you’re with, but remember how she has roommates and best friends, etc., etc.?
It is probably in your best interest to be a decent fellow no matter who you’re with. You never know . . .
5 comments:
Such good advise...you should seriously consider the dating consulting business. :)
So clever and witty...what a fun post. Oh I would love to hear the stories associated with each of those.
There are oh so many of these crazy stories. :)
Wait a second, what about Prince? He wears turtlenecks all of the . . . oh shoot. Never mind!
I guess I will get rid of the turtle neck and go for a scarf instead. Is that any better?
Man, it sounds like you have enough bad dates to write an entire book. Instead of giving out all your good stories on the internet you should make people pay for such quality entertainment!
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