One of my favorite Shakespeare quotes is from Julius Caeser:
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears!
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them,
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Caesar
These words are meant to be a parody – calling attention to an injustice. As with many other lines penned by Shakespeare, these contain a truism for life: the bad things we do are often more memorable to people than are the good.
I ran into a friend from high school recently who was surprised to discover that I didn’t remember something silly he did 20 years ago that others frequently remind him of. I wonder if they still remember any of the good things he did. Hope so.
This happens on a shorter time span too. For example, someone might be labeled as a perpetual late-comer because they arrive late a few times – while the times they arrive early are completely forgotten.
This reflection has caused me to think about the times I have in a subtle and, sometimes, a not so subtle manner recalled for someone the ways they have wronged me. By maintaining my “victim” status, I am inadvertently victimizing them; as if my opinion is all important and more binding than their repentance.
Thankfully, the One, whose opinion truly matters, actually does forgive us our shortcomings – and they are remembered no more. This is obviously the pattern we are meant to follow. There is something very powerful in focusing on and remembering the good in someone.
The trick, I suppose, is to let it be so.
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1 comment:
I agree with that. For some reason people tend to remember negative things more clearly. I went to a conference one time and an editor of a major paper responded to the question of why newspapers focus so much on negative news. Her answer was blunt. "It's simply a matter of money" she said. "People don't buy good news." I think anyone who's read the news lately could probably testify that this line of thinking is still being followed.
So, as I see it there are at least two things a person can do. One, make a conscious effort to focus on the positive or two, simply think of everything as negative (that way you’ll remember it).
I’m not at liberty to say which method I follow. That’s too personal for a blog comment. All I can say is hope you have a rotten day!
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