Magnetism

Do you ever feel like you’re a magnet for things?....like you attract lint everywhere you go, or stray cats gravitate to your home, or your shoulder is soaked through from all the people who have cried on it?

Evidently, I am a magnet for two super special things:

The first is: Junk/White Elephant Gifts. My offices at home and work have accumulated so many little treasures – 2nd pair of shoes, professional certificates, stuffed toy lions, pictures of my nieces and nephews, etc. – that my co-workers are drawn to said offices to steal said items in order to give them as gifts at parties. After this last Christmas – when two separate co-workers used my work office as a “store” of sorts, I decided some of these precious little knickknacks would have to go. I mean, this is a respectable establishment, not the White Elephant Black Market. So – to these friends, I say – “Thank you for curing me of my messy offices. Next Christmas will not be so easy for you.”

And the second thing I seem to attract is Creeps. I’m pretty sure my ldssingles profile actually has a message posted somewhere that says, “Creeps welcome here.” While I don’t think it would be true to say all guys are jerks, it would be true to say I’ve sure run into a ton of guys who are jerks. And, they aren’t just online - they’re really all over the place, aren’t they? Friends, co-workers, blind dates, at the gym and the grocery store, driving a stupid white car on the freeway, …you name it. These fellows are full of trickery and deception, selfishness, insensitivity, egotism, chauvinism, just plain creepiness, and did I mention deception? (I HATE being lied to!!!!) So to these men, I will quote Ewan McGregor’s line – “Thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love.” I will be getting out of that market as well.

Incidentally, White HOUSE Black Market is an excellent store for any of you who like to dress in black, like I do.