Guy Glossary

WARNING: SLIGHTLY BITTER DIATRIBE AHEAD . . .

You know how guys say that with men, what you see is what you get? They are straight-forward, rational beings who proudly declare that they say what they mean and there aren’t any hidden messages behind their statements (as there are with statements made by women).

I will certainly agree that women are complicated creatures and frequently don’t say what they mean. However, my experiences over the last several months seem to indicate that guys are more complex than they give themselves credit for.

Here are five of my favorite male phrases that mean something else. (Note: there are many others.)

Scenario 1: A guy contacts me and says he would like to be friends/meet/hang out/go on a date, etc.. I very simply, and I think reasonably, ask when he thinks he might be available. He says one of the following:

“We can probably go to lunch on Monday.”

“I want to hang out this week.”

“I want to go to dinner, but I’m not sure when.”

“Let’s hang out soon.”

These all ultimately mean the same thing: you are not my particular cup of tea, but just in case the cup of tea I really want is not available, I want to make sure I can still get my 2nd choice cup – you.

Scenario 2: On the occasions when I find someone I am interested in and he responds positively, I might say something like, “Here’s my number. Give me a call.” Or, “I’d like to buy you dinner, give me a call when you’re free.” He says:

“I will for sure.”

Seems like a positive response, right? Seems like he is going to call, right? Oh, no! This actually means: I kind of want to go out with you, but not enough to actually do something about it; and, since I am not brave enough to just tell you I’m not really all that interested, I’m going to lie and make you think there is a chance . . . when really there’s just not; and, don’t wait up for that call, cuz that phone is just not going to ring.

I suppose I would feel badly if a guy actually said, “You’re not as good as a girl I met yesterday, but I’ll call you if she’s not interested,” but, at least I’d be dealing with reality. I am convinced the only responses you’ll get when a guy truly does want to be with you are, “Yes,” “How about Friday?” or “When are you free?”

Ok - done with the tirade.